Dear Sarah,
April 30, 2024 Sarah
i miss you so much. you weren’t supposed to go. i miss you terribly. you were my big sister that i needed so so badly. i looked up to you so much and i feel like so much of me is you. you helped shape me, from the time i was a little girl. i still don’t even want to believe that i’ll never ever ever ever EVER see your face or hear your laugh again. i was just thinking about a time when you, Lisa, Katelyn, the boys, and i were at the water gardens. i think you were 17 or 18, bc i was around 10-11. 2 or 3 teenage girls walked by laughing and you scoffed, looked to Lisa, and said “oh my god look at those teeny boppers.” and Lisa started laughing sooo hard at you and i didn’t know why because i was on your side, like “yeah ew look at them. they’re not cool at all right, Sarah? but we are. we’re the coolest….. right, Sarah?” then Lisa said, “Sarah, you’re a teeny bopper!!!!” and in my head i was like… ‘no way. Sarah’s too cool to be a teeny bopper. she has the best handwriting in the world. and she showed me sublime. and matisyahu, & maroon 5. her fav color is hot pink and she always looks so cool holding a cigarette. i can’t wait til my arm is long enough that i can rest my elbow at the bottom of the window panel in the car while the window is down and grab the top of it with my hand, just like she does every time we’re in the car.’ so many things remind me of you still. i so badly wish you were here, so that i could hug you and talk to you. i’m 29 now, the age you were about to be when you left. i’m so so so sad you had to go, Sarah. i miss you more than i can even express. you will always be in my heart; you will always be my angel. i wish i could laugh with you one more time. :( Lila Bean
i miss you so much. you weren’t supposed to go. i miss you terribly. you were my big sister that i needed so so badly. i looked up to you so much and i feel like so much of me is you. you helped shape me, from the time i was a little girl. i still don’t even want to believe that i’ll never ever ever ever EVER see your face or hear your laugh again. i was just thinking about a time when you, Lisa, Katelyn, the boys, and i were at the water gardens. i think you were 17 or 18, bc i was around 10-11. 2 or 3 teenage girls walked by laughing and you scoffed, looked to Lisa, and said “oh my god look at those teeny boppers.” and Lisa started laughing sooo hard at you and i didn’t know why because i was on your side, like “yeah ew look at them. they’re not cool at all right, Sarah? but we are. we’re the coolest….. right, Sarah?” then Lisa said, “Sarah, you’re a teeny bopper!!!!” and in my head i was like… ‘no way. Sarah’s too cool to be a teeny bopper. she has the best handwriting in the world. and she showed me sublime. and matisyahu, & maroon 5. her fav color is hot pink and she always looks so cool holding a cigarette. i can’t wait til my arm is long enough that i can rest my elbow at the bottom of the window panel in the car while the window is down and grab the top of it with my hand, just like she does every time we’re in the car.’ so many things remind me of you still. i so badly wish you were here, so that i could hug you and talk to you. i’m 29 now, the age you were about to be when you left. i’m so so so sad you had to go, Sarah. i miss you more than i can even express. you will always be in my heart; you will always be my angel. i wish i could laugh with you one more time. :( Lila Bean
September 1, 2021 Sarah,
Still to this day you are a daily memory. You are still alive through the conversations I have with you niece. You dwell within the hearts of us, and still dance and sing at the top of your lungs through our hearts as if you are only visiting somewhere far off, unable to call or come home to us for a while. And we chose to carry on this way, because we believe it to be true. I believe you're soaring through the clouds. Marilyn says you're in Heaven taking care of the babies, she told me one early morning on our drive to school. From the mouth of babes, I believed she knew something you had told her in a dream the night before. I have seen you many times in my dreams, everytime you are smiling and I try to tell you what happened here on Earth when you left us- but you're always sitting in the sun, laughing and happy, telling me I'm crazy and that you're great while smoking your cigarette. I know wherever your soul now dwells you a with God. Serving out your divine purpose on the otherside of the rainbow. You are so dearly missed beyond what words can convey. You are still a shining soul so bright your light can still be seen, to help carry us through the dark moments. I love you sincerely- forever to the moon and back. Heather💟
Still to this day you are a daily memory. You are still alive through the conversations I have with you niece. You dwell within the hearts of us, and still dance and sing at the top of your lungs through our hearts as if you are only visiting somewhere far off, unable to call or come home to us for a while. And we chose to carry on this way, because we believe it to be true. I believe you're soaring through the clouds. Marilyn says you're in Heaven taking care of the babies, she told me one early morning on our drive to school. From the mouth of babes, I believed she knew something you had told her in a dream the night before. I have seen you many times in my dreams, everytime you are smiling and I try to tell you what happened here on Earth when you left us- but you're always sitting in the sun, laughing and happy, telling me I'm crazy and that you're great while smoking your cigarette. I know wherever your soul now dwells you a with God. Serving out your divine purpose on the otherside of the rainbow. You are so dearly missed beyond what words can convey. You are still a shining soul so bright your light can still be seen, to help carry us through the dark moments. I love you sincerely- forever to the moon and back. Heather💟
January 17, 2020 You had the biggest and most unforgettable smile. We miss it and you.
August 29, 2019 Sarah my love. You're still in our hearts. It hasn't gotten easier since you were taken from us, but we're still all trying to keep on going and keep on smiling. Just like you would want us to. I can still hear you sing at the top of your lungs to all your favorite songs, and hear you laugh and see your smile in my heart. We'll carry you forever. I love you♡
June 16, 2018 Sarah, you will always be in my heart and I am putting together something for Your son so he can always remember how you loved him!
May 1, 2018 Spankey,
I hope wherever you are that you found security and peace.
I hope that you know that you are loved beyond measure.
I’m sorry that no amount of our love could have kept you from dying.
I hope you know that your mistakes don’t define you.
I know that you were more than your death, more than your mistakes.
You were light and laughter and passion and a furious burning love.
You were a good mother and everyone could see how much you loved your boy.
I hope you know that he is loved, well taken care of, and happy.
I hope you know that he misses you and loves you, even though you are gone.
I’m sorry you aren’t here to watch him grow up, but he will remember you.
It’s not fair what happened and we will never get over it, but we will move on.
We will see you every time we look at Bricyn’s face or an amazing sunset.
We will hear you in every loud belly laugh and every good country song.
We will feel you in the gentle wind and the many happy memories in our hearts.
We will never stop loving and missing you.
We will carry you with us until the day we die. xoxoxo
I hope wherever you are that you found security and peace.
I hope that you know that you are loved beyond measure.
I’m sorry that no amount of our love could have kept you from dying.
I hope you know that your mistakes don’t define you.
I know that you were more than your death, more than your mistakes.
You were light and laughter and passion and a furious burning love.
You were a good mother and everyone could see how much you loved your boy.
I hope you know that he is loved, well taken care of, and happy.
I hope you know that he misses you and loves you, even though you are gone.
I’m sorry you aren’t here to watch him grow up, but he will remember you.
It’s not fair what happened and we will never get over it, but we will move on.
We will see you every time we look at Bricyn’s face or an amazing sunset.
We will hear you in every loud belly laugh and every good country song.
We will feel you in the gentle wind and the many happy memories in our hearts.
We will never stop loving and missing you.
We will carry you with us until the day we die. xoxoxo
July, 27 2017 Happy 30th Birthday, Spankey.
May 2, 2017 We miss you, Sarah. xoxo
July 23, 2016 Dear Sarah,
It's almost your 29th birthday. You've almost been gone 3 months and it still doesn't seem real. I've been thinking a lot about your 21st birthday in Vegas and how much we laughed with Nics on the way to the Hoover Dam, how we went dancing at a Texas club, got tattoos, and how you somehow convinced me to jump off a cliff into the lake. A photo came up on my Timehop last week of when I came to Vegas right before your 23rd birthday and we laid in Bricyn's pool in the backyard, barely fitting in it, but having a blast anyway. I'm glad I have these and other fun memories of you to look back on, but I'm still so sad that we won't get to make any new ones. I wish we could celebrate your birthday together this year, with us both being in Texas again for the first time in 10 years- but I guess in some way, we still will. I'll do something you would have loved, just for you. Sending you love always, Bren
It's almost your 29th birthday. You've almost been gone 3 months and it still doesn't seem real. I've been thinking a lot about your 21st birthday in Vegas and how much we laughed with Nics on the way to the Hoover Dam, how we went dancing at a Texas club, got tattoos, and how you somehow convinced me to jump off a cliff into the lake. A photo came up on my Timehop last week of when I came to Vegas right before your 23rd birthday and we laid in Bricyn's pool in the backyard, barely fitting in it, but having a blast anyway. I'm glad I have these and other fun memories of you to look back on, but I'm still so sad that we won't get to make any new ones. I wish we could celebrate your birthday together this year, with us both being in Texas again for the first time in 10 years- but I guess in some way, we still will. I'll do something you would have loved, just for you. Sending you love always, Bren
July 23, 2016 Dear Sarah-
There has not been a minute that has gone by since I saw you last just hours before you were gone that i haven't thought of you. You were a bigger part of my life than I already knew you where, and to so many people. I wonder if you ever really realized how many people basked in your smile happily once you walked into a room. From the time we were kids that's what you were-a huge beam of light, and i loved every bit of you-we both loved each other unconditionally- crazy and all-we stuck through it, together...
I wish i would have known to or how to rescue you that last night I saw you. .but I drove away from you for the last time. I'll never forget you walking away that day. I'll never forget you my Harah..I never could in a million lifetimes because you are my other half. .my forever. I loves you to the moon and back. I will see you that day when its time for me to be called home. I hope you are there waiting for me. I Love You always and to infinity - Seather
There has not been a minute that has gone by since I saw you last just hours before you were gone that i haven't thought of you. You were a bigger part of my life than I already knew you where, and to so many people. I wonder if you ever really realized how many people basked in your smile happily once you walked into a room. From the time we were kids that's what you were-a huge beam of light, and i loved every bit of you-we both loved each other unconditionally- crazy and all-we stuck through it, together...
I wish i would have known to or how to rescue you that last night I saw you. .but I drove away from you for the last time. I'll never forget you walking away that day. I'll never forget you my Harah..I never could in a million lifetimes because you are my other half. .my forever. I loves you to the moon and back. I will see you that day when its time for me to be called home. I hope you are there waiting for me. I Love You always and to infinity - Seather
July 22, 2016 Sarah!! I turned 44 yesterday, whoop whoop!! I look at it this way..4+4=8..my favorite number!! Hahaha you and I would be laughing so hard right now at my comment!! Yes we are dorks!!! I freaking miss you so badly!! I was talking to Corby today..he totally understands when I talk of and about you!! I can't seem to get past sitting on the floor where you took your last breath, idk I can't explain..it's almost like a part of you is totally with me, I know you are and you give me so much strength it's incredible!!! We are two peas in a pod love bug!!! Sisters forever!!! MUAHHHHH!!!! Allison Miteff